MDZS Chapter 1 BTS

In non-essential note 6 on chapter 1, I mentioned that I had compiled a document with the evolution of a sentence from first (very) rough pass translation to final iteration. Here’s the conversation I had with my friend @blackelement7 (kuro) about it, edited for readability and length—basically cut out most of our typos, digressions, shitposting, a lot of screaming (mostly from me). A lot of my feelings about the line were informed by previous conversations with my other friend @tonyglowheart (roz).

Original Line:
对这种人,还讲什么同门同修青梅竹马的情面?

Original rough pass:
When it comes to these sorts of people, what considerations can you even make about some same clan, same sect, childhood loyalty sort of sensibilities?


kuro:
I had to read this like three times before I could make out what it meant.

cyan:
what considerations can you even make for family, sect or childhood loyalties
it doesn’t have the same feeling

kuro:
“there’s no point in considering”?
“shared clan, shared sect, or childhood sentimentality”?

cyan:
ugh i know but it’s a rhetorical question

kuro:
“is there even a point in considering” lol

cyan:
can you even consider any
mmm no
“there’s no sense in”
maybe i’ll give up on the rhetorical question structure
angrily compromises

kuro:
“what weight do a shared clan, shared sect, or childhood sentiments hold

cyan:
there’s no sense in considering any shared clan, shared sect or childhood sentimentalities”

kuro:
“never mind any shared blah blah”?

cyan:
like in english i would require a third phrase to use nevermind i think
like a “when it comes to these sorts of people, you can’t even _____ , never mind_____”

kuro:
“When it comes to these sorts of people, _____”
“do considerations like shared clans, shared sects, or childhood sentimentality matter at all”?

cyan:
im worried that “do” doesn’t hold quite the rhetorical weight

kuro:
“can”?

cyan:
i was just thinking that
worried that it won’t flow with “matter at all”
because i feel like the more proper structure is “hold weight” slkdjfslkdfj

kuro:
Or “can blah blah blah even matter”? Or “even make a difference”?

cyan:
can you even take shared clsaljslfj l into consideration?
When it comes to these sorts of people, can you even take shared clan, shared sect or childhood sentimentalities into consideration?
the worst thing is it’s not even same clan same sect

kuro:
Ok wait is it about the speaker taking adkgjdjs into consideration, or saying that these kinds of people don’t take them into account?

cyan:
it’s like same family, cultivated together, childhood loyalty idiom
chinese is out to kill me
it’s the speaker saying that like
when it comes to these sorts of people, you can’t let those things influence justice

kuro:
“when it comes to these types of people, what is a shared clan, shared sect, or childhood sentiments”?
Idk in this kind of a situation I would move away from the original text to try and get the flavor so /shrug

cyan:
“when it comes to these types of people, what can any shared clan, shared sect, or childhood sentiment count for?”
but that ends on a preposition…..

kuro:
Uh well “for what” sounds even worse

cyan:
yeah no absolutely it’s worse to do it “properly”
i want the same meaning as “what weight does this hold” but less formal lmfao

kuro:
“what meaning does ajdjdbfdkd have”?

cyan:
“is there even any meaning in shared sect, shared clan, childhood loyalties”?

kuro:
Should that be “is there any meaning to”?
Idk it sounds less natural

cyan:
i think both to and in are acceptable
ugh im going back to “what considerations can you even make” again bc it feels the most right
is there any way to make it not sound awkward

kuro:
Don’t think so lol
Do we even make considerations in English??
Make considerations about something
Sounds weird

cyan:
you take considerations i guess

kuro:
I mean you take into consideration
Not sure you take the considerations directly

cyan:
ohhh you know that’s what i was thinking
can you even take any shared slskdfjsldfj considerations into account LMAOOOO
that’s so rough
that’s so long and awkward

kuro:
“can things such as aksfjgfk even be taken into account”

cyan:
that’s the closest meaning i think
okay i think the frontrunners are like,
is there even any meaning in…, what meaning do……..even have?, do ……. even matter?
you know what
the last one is the shortest
do shared sect, shared clan, or childhood loyalties even matter?

kuro:
Or you could stick a “things like” in there if you want more words

cyan:
do things like vs do any
my gut feeling is still stuck on the “some same sect, same clan” structure lmfao

kuro:
but i don’t think it makes sense
“do any some same sect” lmfao
“when it comes to these types of people, what does this “same clan same sect childhood sentimentality” bullshit even mean”

cyan:
GOD BUT LIKE
YEAH
that’s eXACTLY the vibe
screams
* ETA: upon further reflection, it’s actually not exactly the vibe, but it’s very close to the vibe I was looking for.

kuro:
I mean you could replace bullshit
With something less crude

cyan:
“when it comes to these types of people, what do these “same clan same sect childhood loyalty” sentiments even mean”
??

kuro:
Concepts??? I’m not sure sentiments mean anything

cyan:
sensibilities?

kuro:
I guess???? Idk I think sensibilities are a personal thing, not a shared concept that has a concrete truth that can be understood
So the wording feels weird to me
But it doesn’t not work

cyan:
oh what if i reversed it
when it comes to these types of people, what do these “same clan same sect childhood sentiment” loyalties even mean
it feels weird
childhood sentiment is weird

kuro:
But like again “mean” feels strange when applied to loyalties

cyan:
ugh i don’t want to use “things”
when it comes to these types of people, what do these “same clan same sect childhood loyalty” ideas even mean
lmfao
no that’s worse

kuro:
I mean
That’s the best one so far
Lmao

cyan:
IS IT
i think it’s the worst

kuro:
What do these ideas of “@+$_(_+$+” even mean

cyan:
i don’t like ideas or concepts or things

kuro:
“why even consider sentiments like “skdfjshfhsk”?”

cyan:
when it comes to these types of people, how can you even consider sentiments like “same clan same sect childhood loyalty”
it’s more how can you, i think
that’s an awkward ending hmmm
how can you even take “sldfksjldfj” sentiments into consideration

kuro:
…sentiments like “same clan,” “same sect,” or “childhood loyalty”
?

cyan:
ohhhh hm maybe
how can you even take sentiments like “same clan”, “same sect”, or “childhood loyalty” into consideration?
i don’t hate that

kuro:
Oh that could work

cyan:
PRAISE


Final Version:
“When it comes to these sorts of people, how can you even take sentiments like ‘same clan’, ‘same sect’, or ‘childhood loyalty’ into consideration?”

One thought on “MDZS Chapter 1 BTS

  1. Your translation notes and processes are a blessing, seriously xD They give me perspective on how to improve my own methods and also make me laugh in a few very relatable moments – like shortening a long sentence as a bunch of aksdhdn and screaming in relief when blissful progress is finally made.

    …and I have definitely been spending too much time reviewing texts of dubious quality, because my brain just “autocorrected” the first version of the translation and I had to read it twice to notice there was anything weird about it. Goodness, I must stuff these poor braincells with good content again so this doesn’t happen when I’m editing my own works xD

    Going back to how useful your notes are, I actually use them as reference material to explain to people the several difficulties of translation. So double thanks for that! Translators deserve tons of appreciation, it’s really hard work and most people have no idea of this fact.

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